This is Jewel and her family, spending a weekend reenacting scenes from the Oregon Trail. At least that’s what I assume they’re doing in these clothes.
I don’t want to talk about it. I just want to cry.
Despite what you may hear about Suri Cruise attending school, don’t worry about how it will affect her. Her routine may now be monotonous, but her spirit remains unbroken. Just because she attends classes with other children and just because she’s now forced to “listen” to an adult, she’s still Suri Cruise. She’s still #2 on the Forbes list of “Celebrity Children Most Likely To Land A Magazine Cover For Simply Being.” (Blue Ivy is number 1 and the alleged fetus inside Miley Cyrus is number 3.)
If you’ve found this letter, then you already know. You’re a famous celebrity child who emerged from a scientology marriage built on questionable stories, urban legends and Maury-Povich-levels of paternity allegations.
Read the rest of the open letter to Suri Cruise on the first day she googles herself right here.
If you like this, you’ll love the rest of the TomKat Divorce Spectacular ecard collection we have!