In exciting news for the rich fantasy life I lead with Charlize Theron, she turns 37 today. While in “reality” I have no idea how she’s celebrating the big 3-7, I know in my heard we’re grabbing lychee martinis at Hollywood hot spots and reminiscing about our vacay (she loves when I abbrev words) to a secret Mexican village that only celebrities know about. Obviously, everyone’s paying attention to us because we can’t stop laughing (her impressions of Sandra Bullock are priceless!) and because she’s beautiful.

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